JUNE '19 - Daily On Line Edition

Slow-Cooker Corned Beef and Cabbage Recipe

Notice: To prevent overcooking and overflowing, your slow cooker should be at least halfway but no more than two-thirds full when you start cooking. Need even more time than a recipe allows? Chilling the crock and ingredients buys 1 to 1 1/2 more hours of cooking time.Don’t peek (too often), every time you open the lid it increases cooking time by about 15 minutes.

• 2 celery stalks, cut into 3-inch pieces
• 3 carrots, cut into 3-inch pieces
• 1 small yellow onion, cut into 1-inch wedges (root end left intact)
• 1/2 pound small potatoes, halved if large
• 6 sprigs thyme
• 1 corned beef brisket (about 3 pounds), plus pickling spice packet or 1 tablespoon pickling spice
• 1/2 head Savoy cabbage, cut into 1 1/2-inch wedges
• Grainy mustard, for serving

In a 5-to-6-quart slow cooker, place celery, carrots, onion, potatoes, and thyme. Place corned beef, fat side up, on top of vegetables and sprinkle with pickling spice; add enough water to almost cover meat (4 to 6 cups). Cover and cook on high until corned beef is tender, 4 1/4 hours (or 8 1/2 hours on low). Arrange cabbage over corned beef, cover, and continue cooking until cabbage is tender, 45 minutes (or 1 1/2 hours on low). Thinly slice corned beef against the grain and serve with vegetables, cooking liquid, and grainy mustard.

DAILY SMILE:

FLOOD OF REQUESTS

If anyone needs an ark, I happen to Noah guy.

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JUNE '19 - Daily On Line Edition

DAILY SMILE:

Putting Out a Fire...by Fire

During an ecumenical assembly, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!” 

The Methodists prayed in a corner. 

The Baptists wondered where they could find water. 

The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings. 

The Lutherans posted a notice on the door announcing the fire was evil. 

The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the cost of the damage. 

The Jews posted symbols on the door in hopes the fire would pass. 

The Congregationalists shouted, “Every man for himself!” 

The Fundamentalists proclaimed, “It’s the vengeance of God!” 

The Episcopalians formed a procession and protested. 

The Christian Scientists denied that there was a fire. 

The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson to form a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report. 

The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out. 

From "The Book of Church Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009.

ITALIAN MEAT LOAF

Parmesan cheese, Italian Seasoning and tomato sauce add Italian flavor to homemade meat loaf. Serve with pasta tossed with butter or olive oil and Parmesan cheese.

 8 Servings

• INGREDIENTS:
• • 2 pounds ground beef
• • 1/2 cup plain bread crumbs
• • 1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese, divided
• • 1 egg
• • 4 teaspoons Italian Seasoning, divided
• • 1 teaspoon Onion Powder
• • 1/2 teaspoon Garlic Powder
• • 1/2 teaspoon Black Pepper, Ground
• • 1/2 teaspoon salt
• • 1 can (8 ounces) tomato sauce
• Substitution: 1 teaspoon of Garlic Salt in place of Garlic Powder and Salt..

PREPARATION:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix ground beef, bread crumbs, 1/4 cup of the Parmesan cheese, egg, 2 teaspoons of the Italian seasoning and remaining seasonings in large bowl.

2. Shape into a loaf on shallow baking pan. Mix tomato sauce and remaining 2 teaspoons Italian seasoning. Pour over top.

3. Bake 55 to 60 minutes or until meat loaf is cooked through. Sprinkle with remaining 1 tablespoon Parmesan cheese. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

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JUNE '19 - Daily On Line Edition

DAILY SMILE:

Button Up

A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket. But the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe sole also had a hole, so he lost the buttons. As pockets with holes, holes without buttons, and shoe soles with holes are useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out of his shirt and the pocked from his pants and tossed them in the trash along with the soles of his shoes. 

A police officer who was observing the man asked him for some identification. 

The man gave the officer a document that showed he was an ordained minister of the gospel. 

When the officer began to escort him to a mental institution, the minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving such unjust treatment. “Look, we both know it’s the best place for you now,” the officer replied. “Anyone claiming to be a preacher who doesn’t save souls or wear holy clothes has probably lost his buttons.” 

From "The Book of Church Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009

Slow Cooker Honey BBQ Drumsticks

ONLY 3 simple ingredients to create this delicious meal! It is so simple yet tastes like you have been working in the kitchen all day long!

SERVES: 8 DRUMSTICKS

Ingredient:

• 8 drumsticks, skin removed if desired

• 1 (18 oz.) bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce, I love Sweet Baby Ray's

• ¼ cup honey

Instructions:

Spray slow cooker with cooking spray.

Place drumsticks inside. Evenly distribute them as best as possible.

In a medium bowl, combine BBQ sauce and honey. Pour evenly over drumsticks.

Cover and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours or until done.

from https://www.chef-in-training.com/slow-cooker-honey-bbq-drumsticks/

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JUNE '19 - Daily On Line Edition

DAILY SMILE: 

Three Policemen at the Pearly Gates

Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?” 

“I was a police officer,” he responded. 

“What kind of police officer?” 

Saint Peter asked. “I was a vice officer. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.” 

“Welcome to heaven. You may end the gates.” He asked the second man what he did as a police officer. 

“I was a traffic officer,” said the man. “I kept the roads and highways safe.” 

“Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.” He asked the third man what he did as a police officer. 

“I was a military policeman, sir,” replied the man. 

“Wonderful! I’ve been waiting for you all day!” replied Saint Peter. “I need to take a break! Watch the gate, will you?”

From "The Book of Church Jokes," published by Barbour Publishing, Inc., Uhrichsville, Ohio. Copyright 2009.

Roasted Root Veggie Power Hour

• 2 cups peeled butternut squash cut into 1-inch chunks (about of a medium squash)• 1 cup peeled carrot cut into 1-inch chunks (about 2 medium carrots)• 1 cup peeled parsnip cut into 1-inch chunks (about 1 medium parsnip)• 1 cup peeled beets cut into 1-inch chunks (1 to 2 beets)• 1 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
tsp. each salt and black pepper

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray a baking sheet with nonstick spray.

2. Place veggies in a large bowl. Drizzle with oil, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Gently toss to coat.
3. Evenly distribute mixture on the baking sheets. Bake for 15 minutes.
4. Flip veggies. Bake until softened and browned, 18 to 20 minutes.

Nutritional Information: 1/4th of recipe (about 1 cup): 128 calories, 3.5g total fat (0.5g sat fat), 144mg sodium, 23.5g carbs, 6g fiber, 8.5g sugars, 2g protein

Active time: 20 minutes
Total time: 55 minutes

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JUNE '19 - Daily On Line Edition

Today's Sponsor: 

CHICKEN ROLLATINI

Makes 4

Ingredients:
2 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts
3/4 cup Italian Seasoned Bread Crumbs
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
1/2 cup grated mozzarella
2 eggs, beat and set aside
3/4 cup fresh chopped spinach (can use frozen, make sure it is thawed and dry)
6 TBS Ricotta cheese
Olive Oil
1 1/2 cup Favorite Marinara sauce (Or you can make your own with 2 cans crushed tomatoes, 3 diced garlic cloves and 1/4 cup olive oil and salt to taste)

Preheat oven to 450 deg.

Place chicken breast in Ziploc bag and pound to about 1/4 inch thick. Cut in half so you have two cutlets. Do this with both breasts.
Combine bread crumbs and 3 TBS of the parmesan in one bowl. Set aside

place eggs in separate dish
In small bowl mix ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan and spinach.
Lay chicken down on cutting board. Salt and pepper the breasts.

Add some of the ricotta mixture and roll the chicken seam side down. Dip in egg and then coat with the bread crumb mixture. Place in baking pan and sprinkle with the seam down. Sprinkle with olive oil.

Bake for 25 minutes. Remove from oven and top with marinara and sprinkle with mozzarella and parmesan. Return to oven and bake 3 more minutes or until cheese is melted.

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JUNE '19 - Daily On Line Edition

Today's Sponsor:

Daily Smile:

Noah in the 21st Century

  

And we thought we had problems! If Noah had 

lived in the United States in the last ten years, 

the story may have gone something like this: 

And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one 

year, I am going to make it rain and cover the 

whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. 

But I want you to save the righteous people and 

two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, 

I am commanding you to build an Ark." In fear and 

trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build 

the ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "you must 

complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in 

one year." 

Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered 

the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a 

tumult. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his 

front yard weeping. "Noah!" He shouted. "Where 

is the Ark?" "Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah. 

"I did my best, but there were big problems." 

"First, I had to get a permit for construction, and 

your plans did not meet the building codes. I had 

to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. 

Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or 

not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved 

flotation devices. Then, my neighbor objected, claiming 

I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in 

my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city 

planning commission." 

"Then, I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark 

because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the 

Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service 

that I really needed the wood to save the owls. However, 

the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me take the 2 owls. 

The carpenters formed a union and went on strike. I had 

to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations 

Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now, 

I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls." 

"When I started rounding up the other animals, an animal 

rights group sued me. They objected to me taking only two 

of each kind aboard. This suit is pending. Meanwhile, the 

EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without 

filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed 

flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had 

no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe. 

Then, the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the 

proposed flood plain. I sent them a globe." 

"Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the 

Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am 

practicing discrimination by not taking atheists aboard. The 

IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark 

in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just 

got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user 

tax and failed to register the Ark as a 'recreational water craft.' 

And finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction 

against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God 

is flooding the earth, it's a religious event and therefore 

unconstitutional. I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 

five or six years." 

Noah waited. 

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas 

began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked 

up hopefully, "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth, 

Lord?" 

"No," He said sadly. "I don't have to. The government already has."

- Author Unknown -

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