JUNE '19 - Daily On Line Edition - DAY 16

Toxic Persons ­ Extreme Passive­Aggressives ­ Part 6 

By Mike Price, PhD

The sixth tactic that I will deal with that you need to be aware of is "Redirecting Attention."

6. Redirecting Attention: This is when one changes the subject so as to avoid being accountable for their actions.

This type of tactic is simply grounded in the thought of “What about me?” It is a spiritual and psychological disorder that is an abnormal condition and, in this case, a distinctive or characteristic pattern of behavior that redirects attention away from self. Nothing to a toxic person is more important than self. All things are considered in light of self. A toxic person will literally digress from the actual topic of taking ownership of their behavior`, and work to redirect attention to a different issue altogether. Narcissists don’t want you to be on the topic of holding them accountable for anything, so they will redirect the discussion to benefit them. As an example, if you complain about their neglectful parenting, they will immediately redirect the conversation: they’ll point out a mistake you committed years ago. This type of diversion has no limits in terms of time or subject content, and often begins with a sentence like “What about the time when you....”

These diversions work to derail discussions that challenge the status quo, namely, how they like the way things are and what they are comfortable with. A discussion about failing to listen, for example, may be derailed quickly by bringing up another issue just to distract you from the main argument.

Being specific in a discussion is not a toxic person's preference, but it is needed in order to resolve and address issues appropriately. Now when you get specific, he will seek to divert to other non­specific issues. Some of these non­specific issues may be important. His bringing them up does not mean that the issues do not matter; it just means that the specific time and place is not the best context to discuss them because the issue at hand is the toxic person’s inability to deal with specific issues in his life. A toxic self­-centered person prefers subjects that do not deal with their specific shortcomings. Don’t be derailed! If someone changes the subject and tries to redirect it, you need to continue stating and repeating the facts over and over again without giving in to their distractions. Redirect their redirection by saying, “That’s not what I am talking about. Let’s stay focused on the real issue.” If they’re not interested, disengage and spend your energy on something more constructive. You know, like not having a debate with someone who is immature and has only their self­-preservation in mind.

Now understand something; when you are not derailed and taken from the issues, narcissistic abusers and otherwise toxic people feel very threatened by someone challenging their sense of entitlement, a false sense of superiority, and grandiose sense of self, and they will lash out in response. Rather than tackle disagreements or compromises maturely, they set out to divert you from your right to have your own identity and perspective by attempting to instill fear in you about the consequences of disagreeing or complying with their demands. They are prone to making unreasonable demands, and will seek to punish those who do not live up to their impossible to reach expectations. To them, any challenge results in an ultimatum, and “do this or I’ll do that” becomes their practiced methodology.

Realize that when you set boundaries or have a different opinion from theirs, they will threaten you into submission, whether it is a thinly veiled threat or an overt admission of what they plan to do. This is a red flag that indicates someone who has a high degree of entitlement and has no plans of compromising! Take threats seriously and show the narcissist you mean business; document threats and report them whenever possible and legally feasible if it gets this serious. It is the habit of narcissists to blow out of proportion anything they perceive as a threat to their superiority. In their minds, only they can ever be right, and anyone who dares to say otherwise creates a narcissistic injury that results in narcissistic rage. Their rage does not result from low self­-esteem, but rather a high sense of entitlement and a false sense of superiority.

When enraged, they will employ name calling (if they can’t think of a better way) to manipulate your opinion or control and manage your emotions. Name calling is a quick and easy way to put you down, degrade you, and insult your intelligence, appearance, or behavior while invalidating your right to be a separate person with a right to his or her perspective. Name calling is a way to redirect, get you off subject, and to derail you. It can also be used to criticize your beliefs, opinions, and insights. A well­researched perspective or informed opinion suddenly becomes “silly” or “idiotic” in the hands of a toxic person who feels threatened by it and cannot make a respectful, convincing rebuttal. Instead of dealing with your argument, they deal with you as a person and seek to undermine your credibility and intelligence in any way they possibly can. It’s important to end any interaction like name calling! Communicate that you won’t tolerate it! Don’t internalize what they are doing to you, and realize that they are resorting to name calling because they are deficient in maturity to deal with your argument.

The Proverb writer said the following:
My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.
Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.

Let your eyes look directly forward, and let your gaze be straight before you.

Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.

Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.

           (Proverbs 4:20-27)

© 2016 Mike Price All Rights Reserved 

Today's Devotional Sponsor:

DAILY SMILE:

Oh No! 

Submitted by Govinda 

A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease. 

“Nonsense,” scolded the doctor. “You wouldn’t know if you had that. With that particular disease there’s no discomfort of any kind.” 

“Oh no!” gasped the patient. “Those are my symptoms exactly.”

June 22, 2019: 

The Anointing Word Ministry will be  remembering our beloved mother the late, Sis. Annie Lee Magee on Saturday, June 22, 2019 at 12  noon at St Paul AME Church, 420 Church Street, Bogalusa, LA. The Anointed Word  aim is  to give service that will  bring glory and 
continued honor to Jesus Christ ,our Lord and Savior.. We  focus on reaching out to believers and placing a continued  hope in the lives of all believers.   Rev. Michael Oree will  bring the message and his choir will lead us in praise  songs lifting up the name of Jesus.  We are expecting a blessing! Come witness the power of God and give God the glory ! May God continue to endow you is our prayer. 

June, July &/or August: 

All Area Churches are Invited to place their Up-Coming Events, Revival, Camp Meeting, Bible Book Study, Vacation Bible School, Home Coming, Fifth Saturday/Sunday Event, etc... Any event except regular 
church hours... 

You write what you want to say, please include church address for those that may not know your exact location and send it to the editor... 

Email to StarEditor70427@yahoo.com or
Facebook/Messenger to
https://www.facebook.com/Richard.POP.Spurlock...

SOUTHWEST CHICKEN ROLL-UPS

https://www.fromvalerieskitchen.com

The classic party appetizer with a Southwest twist. These pretty Southwest Chicken Tortilla Pinwheels are made ahead and are waiting for you in the refrigerator to slice and serve at party time. A great addition to your appetizer menu at any time of year.

PREP TIME

1 HOUR 10 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME

1 HOUR 10 MINUTES

SERVINGS 

10

Change the number in the box above to adjust serving size. Please note that size of cookware and cook time may vary.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 (8 ounce) package Neufchatel (light) or regular cream cheese, softened

• 3 tablespoons light sour cream

• 1 (10 ounce) can RoTel Tomatoes, drained slightly

• 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic

• 1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt like Lawry's

• 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper

• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

• 5 green onions thinly sliced

• 1 (2.25 ounce) can chopped olives

• 1 jalapeno seeded as desired and diced (optional)

• 2 cups cooked shredded chicken

• 5 large burrito size flour tortillas or wraps in assorted flavors

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Use a mixer to combine cream cheese, sour cream, diced tomatoes, garlic, and seasonings. Use a spoon to stir in cheese, green onion, olives, jalapeno (if using), and shredded chicken.

2. Divide mixture between the tortillas, spreading out evenly leaving about a 1/2" border at the edge. Roll up tightly. Wrap rollups tightly in plastic wrap and transfer to the refrigerator to chill for at least an hour or until ready to serve.

3. Remove from refrigerator and use a sharp knife to slice into 2" pieces.

RECIPE NOTES

1. If you don't want to use a rotisserie chicken, here is how I cook my own. Place a couple of tablespoons of vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. 

2. Add 1 large or 2 small boneless, skinless chicken breasts and cook just long enough to get a good sear, about 3 minutes per side. 

3. Season both sides of the chicken with some seasoning salt (like Lawry's) and fresh ground black pepper while browning. Lower heat to medium-low and add 1 cup of chicken broth. 

4. Cover skillet and let the chicken simmer for about 10 minutes or until cooked through and tender enough to shred. 

5. Remove from heat and when cool enough to handle use two forks to shred the chicken. 

6. Let cool completely before adding to cream cheese mixture and proceed with recipe as directed.

Prep time includes one hour chilling time.

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