Toxic Persons Extreme

PassiveAggressives Part 7

By Mike Price, PhD

The seventh tactic that I will deal with that you need to be aware of is "Deconstructing Reality."
7. Deconstructing Reality: They turn your world upside down and change your view of yourself as they train you over time to reject life as you thought it was.
Toxic people condition you to associate your strengths, talents, and happy memories with abuse, frustration, and disrespect. They do this by sneaking in covert and overt putdowns about the qualities and traits they once idealized as well as sabotaging your goals, ruining celebrations, vacations, and holidays. They may even isolate you from your friends and family and make you financially dependent upon them. You are essentially trained over time to become afraid of doing the very things that once made your life fulfilling.
Narcissists are people who are overly self involved and often vain and selfish, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental attributes. Sociopaths are people whose behavior is antisocial, abusiveoften criminally abusiveand who lack a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. Psychopaths are people that lack the ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, are extremely egocentric, and fail to learn from their experiences. Passiveaggressives are people whose behavior is marked by the expression of negative emotions in passive, indirect ways, as through manipulation or noncooperation. These toxic people so behave because they wish to divert the attention of others to themselves so that the focus is on how you are going to please them. If there is anything outside of them that may threaten their control over your life, they seek to destroy it. They need to be the center of attention at all times. In the beginning of your relationship with them, the idealization phase, they make you the center of their world. Once that phase is complete, and they have you hooked, they must be the center of your world.
Narcissists are naturally pathologically envious; they don’t want anything to come in between them and their influence over you. Your happiness represents everything they feel they cannot have in their emotionally shallow lives. After all, if you learn that you can get validation, respect, and love from other sources besides the toxic person, what’s to keep you from leaving them? To toxic people, a little conditioning (creating a situation where you depend on them emotionally) goes a long way in causing you walking on eggshells and falling just short of your big dreams.
Now it is important to note that if a toxic person can’t control the way you see yourself, they start to control how others see you; they become the victim and play the martyr while you’re labeled the toxic one. They launch a campaign by striking first to sabotage your reputation and slander your name so that you won’t have a support network to fall back on lest you decide to detach and cut ties with this toxic person. They may even stalk and harass you or the people you know as a way to supposedly “expose” the truth about you; this exposure acts as a way to hide their own abusive behavior while projecting it onto you. They might even work to pit two people or two groups against each other. A victim in an abusive relationship with a toxic person often doesn’t know what’s being said about them during the relationship, but they eventually find out the falsehoods shortly after they’ve been discarded when the relationship is ended.
Toxic people will gossip behind your back (and in front of your face), slander you to your loved ones or their loved ones, create stories that depict you as the aggressor while they play the victim, and claim that you engaged in the same behaviors that they are afraid you will accuse them of engaging in. They will also methodically, covertly, and deliberately abuse you so they can use your reactions as a way to prove that they are the so called “victims” of your abuse as they deconstruct the reality you once new. The best way to handle this kind of action against you is to stay mindful of your reactions and stick to the facts. Don't return evil for evil! Your character and integrity will speak for itself when the narcissist’s false and cheap camouflage begins to to fade.
Toxic people put you through a dream world phase until you are sufficiently hooked and invested in the beginning of a friendship or relationship with you. Then, they begin to devalue you while insulting the very things they admired in the first place. Another variation of this is when a toxic individual puts you on a pedestal while aggressively devaluing and attacking someone else who threatens their sense of superiority. Narcissistic abusers do this all the time – they devalue their past relationships in the eyes of their new partners, and eventually the new partner starts to receive the same sort of mistreatment as the narcissist’s ex-partner. Ultimately what will happen is that you will also be on the receiving end of the same abuse. You will one day be the ex partner they degrade to their new relationship. You just don’t know it yet. That’s why it’s important to stay mindful whenever you witness behavior that doesn’t line up with the fake sweetness a narcissist subjects you too.
It is an imperative to slow things down with any person you suspect may be toxic and don't apologize for slowing down any relationship you feel suspicious about. Be wary of the fact and realize that how a person treats or speaks about someone else could potentially translate into the way they will treat you in the future. Don't let them deconstruct your reality or replace it with a fake or imitation they have constructed for their own self serving reasons.
"So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil." (Romans 14:16)
Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil, men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways. (Proverb 2:915)
“Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand it completely.” (Proverbs 28:5)

© 2016 Mike Price All Rights Reserved

TODAY'S DEVOTIONAL SPONSOR:

ALONE? DISCOURAGED? NEED A FRIEND?

Do you occasionally feel like you are alone? Nothing seems to go right! No one really cares! No one to talk with, then do I have a friend for you!!

ALONE?

DISCOURAGED?

NEED A FRIEND?

Even surrounded by people, do you sometimes feel all alone? Are there times in which you really wished someone cared about you? Someone you could count on? No matter what, someone that would always be there for you. Proverbs 17:7 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” God tells us that good friends are very important. Proverbs 18:24 “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Unfortunately, even family and the closest friends will let you down sometimes, but God tells us that you have one friend that will NEVER EVER let you down.
When you feel all alone, discouraged and everything seems to be going against you, be not afraid because Jesus is there for you, at all times. Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, He it is that doth go with thee; He will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”
Jesus wants to be your best friend, All The Time, Every Time, No Exceptions, Regardless. Are you ready for a personal relationship with Jesus? Are you ready to accept His freely offered present or gift of eternal life?
HOW TO BECOME A CHRISTIAN
Jesus wants you to have a very personal relationship with him, but there is one thing that keeps you separated from God and that is sin. Jesus loves you, regardless of what you have done. People have a tendency to separate themselves into two groups - good people and bad people, but God says in Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”
We have been brought up with mankind’s rules; in which, there is usually a reward for how good you are, but a definite punishment for when you are bad. For this reason, it is difficult for some to understand how Jesus could still love us when so many others seem to hate us. GREAT NEWS! JESUS LOVES YOU!! He loves you more than you or I could ever imagine!! A NEVER ENDING LOVE and there is nothing you can ever do to make Him Stop loving you.
If you are thinking that you should make matters right in your life, you are not alone. You are realizing that you have done so many wrong things during your lifetime and that you feel that you are not good enough to accept this freely offered gift of eternal life. Many people tend to feel this way, but that is not what God said. Romans 5:8 “ But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus Christ died for us, to save us from our sins, before we were ever born. For you to be able to come to God, you have to get rid of all your sin troubles. God says, just by being a better person, can not make your right with God. We are only human, we have a sinful nature; therefore, we will never be just good enough, but God wants to save you and me, not because of how good we are, but JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU AND ME!!! Titus 3:5 “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us. By the washing regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.”
It is by God’s grace that we are allowed to come to Him, and not your efforts to clean up your life and/or work your way to heaven. Salvation can not be earned, salvation can not be bought. IT IS A FREE GIFT.... Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9Not of works, lest any man should boast.” Your sins must be paid for and death is the payment, but for those that come to God, the debt of sin has already been paid. God’s gift to you is His son, Jesus Christ and Jesus paid your sin debt. Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
Jesus paid the price for your sin and mine by giving His life on Calvary’s cross. God brought Jesus back from the dead, paving the way for you to have a personal relationship with Him through Jesus. All that is left for you to do is to accept God’s gift that Jesus Christ is holding out for you at this moment. Romans 10:9-10 “That if thou shalt confess with thou mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” God says, if you believe in His son, Jesus, you can live forever with Him in glory. John 3:16-17 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.”
Are you ready to accept God’s gift of eternal life that is being offered by Jesus? If it is your sincere desire to ask Jesus to come into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior, then talk to God from your heart, open your heart and mind and be receptive to the Holy Spirit as your pray the Sinner’s prayer:
“My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I know that I am a sinner and I do not deserve eternal life, but I do believe that You died on the cross to pay for my sins and then rose from the grave, thereby providing a place for me in Heaven. Lord Jesus, come into my life, take control of my life, forgive me of all my sins and save me. I now place my trust in You and You alone for my salvation and I willingly accept God’s free gift of eternal life.”
We rejoice with you, in your decision to trust Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Now you need to connect a church in your home community. There are a few churches listed in this publication with service schedule, etc. visit a few, talk with the pastor and pray, let the Lord direct you to a church in which you will be able to grow.

Parmesan Garlic Roasted Potatoes

from http://susanrecipe.com/2016/07/parmesan-garlic-roasted-potatoes-2.html

Ingredients

Potatoes Cut in to smaller size pieces (I use Russet Potatoes)
A few tablespoons of olive oil
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
1 to 2 Tablespoons fresh chopped parsley
Fresh grated Parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper, to taste

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 450 °F.
Cut potatoes into cubes or wedges. Bring a pot of water to a boil.
Add the potatoes and cook for 3 to 6 minutes depending on size.
While potatoes are cooking put oil in cast iron skillet or other heavy pan and heat in oven.
Drain the potatoes and place them back in the pot. Put the pot back on the burner and shake to dry the potatoes and to rough up their surface. This is what gives roasted potatoes that perfect crust.
Add the potatoes to the hot oil, toss to coat and roast turning once or twice.
When potatoes are almost tender sprinkle with fresh garlic and Parmesan, salt and pepper and continue roasting until potatoes are tender. Turn at least one more time for even browning.
Just before serving, toss with fresh chopped parsley.

DAILY SMILE:

Mojave Desert

Misc Jokes

Submitted by Douglas

While driving a truck I once had to make a delivery to Death Valley, California.

When I arrived it was 128 degrees Fahrenheit. After just a few minutes I was so miserable I was afraid I was going to die.

After a couple hours, it was still 128 degrees, but I was so miserable that I was afraid I wasn't going to die.